She didn’t expect the extent of her bodily pain nor the emotional scarring following her surgery. She was fooling herself in believing everything would fall back into place once they arrived home. Shelagh had left many tears behind on the patient bed of Dr. Horringer, on the road from Harley Street to their flat. But the tears continued on even when Patrick held her, through his endless kisses, and when he would let go.
Shelagh mustered enough strength to dry her tears before Timothy could see her, but in reality her tears ducts just dried up. Only to be replenished later, when she was alone in bed at the conclusion of the day. Life had carried on for everyone else, except for Shelagh, a part of her felt a disconnect and voiced her seed of doubt to Patrick.
“I know what I have and I am extremely grateful…I never deserved Timothy or you and I still wanted more. Perhaps that’s why, this is payment for leaving the Order, for choosing a life-”
“Don’t say that,” voiced Patrick harshly, it was unintentional but he wanted Shelagh to know that none of this was a punishment, not for either one of them.
“I’m sorry,” replied Shelagh as she turned towards Patrick, back into his embrace.
A short time had passed when she found her physical pain subsiding, along with her doubts. She had embraced their loss and fully embraced what she had with the Turner men, which was a blessing.
Shelagh allowed herself time to grieve and time to accept the fact that she would never give birth, but rejoiced in what she did have. She was a mother, a wife, and family to former Sisters and nurses.
It was time to return back to her duties and to help in any way she could. Shelagh had just placed a few files on her desk when something caught her eye.
The item in question had gone unnoticed before, Patrick’s surgery had been in practice for a long time. Decorated and rearranged countless times, but not until now did Shelagh fully notice the painting behind her desk. It was rather simple and beautiful in its form, while light and airy.
Shelagh found herself rooted in place, a multitude of thoughts running through her mind. ‘Would our daughter have been that beautiful? Would she had shared some of Timothy’s interests?’ Shelagh continued on for a few moments until arms had encircled her waist, drawing her back to reality.
Patrick came up from behind her, unknown what state he would find Shelagh in, but willing and ready to listen to his wife.
“What is it, my love?” Asked Patrick, nuzzling the side of her hair and resting against her, displaying love and concern in his actions.
“I just never noticed the painting before.”
“Would you like me to take it down?”
“No, it just reminded me of things I dreamt about, but at the same time reminded me how we forget the little things. I think it’s alright to wonder, but we can’t forget the people and moments around us,” she turned to him then, seeking understanding in his eyes. “I’m alright, maybe not hundred percent, but I will be Patrick.”
They exchanged a knowing smile and a loving kiss before closing the surgery early and headed back home where so many dreams had been shared.
Yes, only time would allow other dreams to be envisioned and to come true…
Hope you all like this and thanks to mg-bsl381 for her amazing observation on her photo-set and for the inspiration!